Saturday, January 14, 2012

3 and a half...

(I forgot to post this yesterday, so it's one day off)

So today marks exactly 3 months and 15 days until the big day. Le sigh.

Normally, I'm bouncing off the walls when I talk about this, but right now a wonderful calm has come over me. Perhaps it's because I am reflecting on what will in fact be the blissful aspects of marriage... but more than likely it's the wine that I had a few minutes ago. Mmm.

I talk about wedding planning all the time at work. There is a wide variety of people at my workplace, but there are only three reactions. 1) "Well... good luck with that" This is from the significant minority of individuals at the office are basically afraid of commitment. One woman tells us constantly how she's trying to fend off her boyfriend from proposing with her life. Another coworker mentioned that he and his girlfriend are taking things slow so as not to have any unrealistic expectations. While I understand the second coworker's thoughts (I just don't get the first one at all...), I still get a bit annoyed by it.

2) The people who get amusingly sarcastic. This is the majority of the people at my work. They remind me that "there's still time to save yourself" and other sarcastic remarks. I don't mind these because these are usually from people who are basically sarcastic in everything they do, and I can tell that they are happy in their marriages.

3) Then there are the people who stand up to those sarcastic remarks with sweet comments about how happy I'm gonna be and how wonderful marriage is. It was uber sweet today when this one guy who was married just this past summer replied "It's worth all of it" when I was complaining  expressing dissatisfaction about the planning. The only thing that confused me today was that one of the people who usually says those kinds of sweet things said that I'll miss this time in my life. Umm... heh... not really on my radar at the moment.  Not one of my Catholic married friends has said that they miss ANYTHING about their engagement. We seem to have most of the disadvantages of being married: petty fights about what gets cleaned by whom (we spend most of our free time together at my place after I get off work), financial discrepancies, fighting over the kitchen, ect. And we don't even get to have any of the advantages! I don't get to wake up and see him (though even after we're married I'm getting up so much earlier than him on a regular basis that I'll never get to talk to him and I'll have to tiptoe around anyway... but I would love to wake up and just know that he's there). Whenever he leaves at night it's a mild torture for me. I'm constantly yelling at him as he leaves, "Don't die!!!" I don't know why I bother telling him that... he knows it's against the rules. But ya, many disadvantages, none of the advantages.

Oh yes, and let's not get into how other people stick their nose into our business and express dissatisfaction with the amount of time we spend together. Let's get this straight people: I. Don't. Care. There is nothing wrong with spending every WAKING hour with your fiance (never mind the fact that I spend 11 hours at/commuting-to work each day which is way more than I spend with James). The. End.

One thing James told me the other day was that he had a harder time with commitment until he realized something. There is no guarantee that he will be happy,  in fact we may (though unlikely) end up being miserable together. If that happens, he will have no way of getting out of it and will just have to suffer his way through the rest of life with me... somehow this made him a lot happier with our relationship. I'm still working on that one.

I have contacted (but am still waiting for responses from) the following: hairdresser/makeup, Schola, dress alterations lady. The hair place has been increasingly irritating me by their inability to communicate with me (I called them over a week and a half ago and they said they needed to talk to the women there and see if one of them is willing to condescend to get up that early and do my hair for one of the most important days of my life... sheesh) so I think I'm nixing them fairly soon.

Still have no idea what we're doing for reception music. We have basically reached a stalemate. A few coworkers suggested providing each gues a set of headphones with several different satellite radio capacities so that everyone can dance to whatever they want (this always produces the most amusing images of slow dancers, swing dancers, techno dancers, and... I don't even know what that is... together on the same dancefloor at the same time trying not to kill each other).


  1. I think I've already mentioned this, but can I confirm I don't miss engagement AT ALL? We were still long-distance at the time, so we had to work out all these details while only seeing each other for about 1 day out of every 14-21. And everybody had an opinion on everything and...yeah, don't miss it.

    I'm sure James knows that Socrates was supposed to have said that marriage is always a good thing because if you have a good wife you have a wonderful life companion and if you have a bad wife reflecting on your suffering will cause you to become a philosopher.

    Also, I read your post and thought of this:

  2. James loved the Socrates quote.

    And yes,the xkcd that day was in fact an influence on my behavior.