Sunday, April 8, 2012

Open Position: New female bff

Position Opening Announcement:

Due to recent move and realization that she doesn't fit in with most Traditional Catholic, Liza Jane has announced the opening of a brand new position: New best female friend.

Candidates must be practicing Catholic, be living a basically moral life, and be the kind of person that Jane "clicks" with.

An ideal candidate will have the attributes of a fun loving person who can be serious more often than not. This person would appreciate the finer arts, but can at least appreciate other forms of the less higher arts. They would prefer social interaction to artificial communication, would not be nitpicky, and at least

Required Qualifications:
Must be practicing Catholic trying to live a moral life.
Must enjoy being around people to a significant extent (Jane realizes she often makes the closest friends with introverts, though)
Must enjoy a diverse set of activities: For example (but not limited to), classical concerts, musicals and pop music, as well as a moderate enjoyments in certain sports (though this must in no way be the principal activity in the candidate's life), collecting things, ect.
Must be able to deal with erratic, strongly emotional people...
Must be willing and able to point out flaws in Jane in a constructive but gentle manner, also be willing to laugh at Jane and herself.
MUST WORK WELL WITH INTELLECTUALS (she must enjoy James' company as well as mine)
Must be willing to admit that pants, skirts above the knee, somewhat tighter clothing, and leggings are not a sin, but doesn't need to wear them herself.
Must not be (or have been) the model student, or "perfect"
Must not be involved in so many activities that she doesn't have time for a social life.
Must love dogs
Must be intelligent

Preferred Qualifications:
Married, or in long term relationship (preferably with an intellectual) (single people often don't enjoy listening Jane complain about her soon-to-be husband)
Has a creative imagination
Thinks that going to a karaoke bar once in a blue moon  sounds like a fun thing to do.
Is some type of eccentric
Able to plan social gatherings or activities
Enjoys dancing
Has texting and appreciates occasional text conversations
Appreciates Southern culture (particularly the state of Texas)

Individuals disliking physical affection (hugs, mainly) need not apply.

Please send your applications to Liza Jane,

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